“I’m So Fucking Awesome Looking,” Thinks 12-Year-Old Smoking E-Cigarette Outside Lidl

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SOON to be first year student Kate Wilson came to the conclusion last night that smoking an electronic cigarette outside Lidl was probably the coolest thing she has done in quite some time.

The 12-year-old, who purchased the €5 nicotine vaporizer in a local petrol station, spent the majority of her evening inhaling the unregulated anti-smoking aid outside the store with her ‘envious’ friends, making sure to cup it with her hand in a bid to mimic a real cigarette when grown-ups were passing.

“Sure no one knows the difference,” she told WWN in an exclusive interview at the store’s trolley bay. “People probably think I’m so fucking awesome when they pass. One auld fella, aged around thirty, even stopped and said ‘disgraceful’ when he was going in. The fucking head on him like!”

Ms. Wilson first bought the device last week, and has since been boosted up the ranks by her teenage counterparts, who are already in secondary school.

“She’s going to fit right in,” said 14-year-old Saoirse Kennedy, who shifted a 17-year-old once at the back of Pennys. “I wouldn’t normally hang around with first years, but I think Kate is alright. She’s one of the lads that hang outside Lidl, isn’t she?

“They’re mad craic altogether,” she added.

13-year-old shopping car park loiterer James Healy also praised Wilson’s ability to blow rings with the e-cig vapor, and even suggested the pre-teen join the older kids outside Tesco.

“Nah, she’s older than she actually is, so if she wants to come hang with us then that’s okay,” he said in an official statement from his group of friends.

Currently there is no law regulating the sale or supply of e-cigarettes to young children. An E-cigarette vaporizes pure nicotine, letting the user inhale one of the most addictive and dangerous drugs on the planet.

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