Severed Heads Now Top Of Young Boys Christmas List
FOLLOWING a tweeted picture posted by jihadi fighter Khaled Sharrou of his son holding a severed head of a Syrian soldier to camera, thousands of young boys across the world have since put pen to paper in an early xmas list bid to Santa Claus.
‘Dear Santa,’ wrote eight-year-old Charlie McGeever, who’s parents wished to keep his name anonymous. ‘I would really really like to get a severed head for Christmas. All my friends said they are getting one too so I am writing to you early in case you run out. Can I get one that’s face is not all blurry please. Can you make it a brown haired one too, with sticky out eyes?’
The letter, which was luckily intercepted by an undercover NSA agent disguised as a chimney-sweeper, was one of just thousands posted to the North Pole – all looking for the same thing.
“Severed heads are in this year.” said child behavioural psychiatrist Dr. Maxine Drent, an expert who sometimes gets paid by us to voice our opinion.
“Parents should not be worried. Children at this age have little or no understanding of the symbolism attached to a decapitated head. They think it’s a toy and just want to play with it, and who could blame them?”
Trendsetter, and son of one of Australia’s most-wanted terrorists, James Sharrou, told Waterford Whispers News today that he did not foretell the “craze” he was about to unleash to the world.
“When dad handed me the head, I was like ‘not another one!'” said the seven year old victim of war. “Nearly everyone here has a severed head to play with. Syria is way ahead of the game when it comes to that shit – excuse the pun”.
Meanwhile, Smyths toy stores have announced today that they will be stocking a wide range of different raced prosthetic heads for the Christmas season, but have ruled out an Israeli made version in protest of their ongoing attack on Palestine.
“Most heads will go on sale for between €39.99 and €49.99, all depending on what race and colour you want,” said Smyths CEO Nick Webb. “We are already receiving bookings, so don’t waste time or chance being disappointed. Get down to Smyths today to pre-book your severed head.”