Football Legend ‘Gazza’ Accidentally Killed By Rogue Israeli Drone


ENGLISH football legend Paul Gascoigne aka ‘Gazza’ was reportedly blown to pieces in his Newcastle home by a ‘rogue’ Israeli drone at 10 o clock this morning.

Police investigators stated that the ‘accidental’ air strike obliterated the 45-year-old’s three bedroomed semi-detached house, killing him and his cat snowy instantly.

Mr. Gascoigne’s remains were removed from the burning rubble shortly before lunch time today.

Israeli military spokesperson, Avital Leibovitch, has publically apologised to the Gascoigne family and the UK, stating this was a rogue attack carried out by an unmanned fighter drone.

“We believe the aircraft broke formation at 6am this morning and travelled across mainland Europe to its mistaken target in northern England. ” he said. “A full investigation is under way into the location typo, as the drone was due to attack the Gaza strip, and not Gazza. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Gascoigne family at this time.”

Rescuers at the scene told WWN that the air strike was so accurate that the neighbouring house was virtually untouched.

The blast was heard and felt by residents up to 10kms away.

One Newcastle man described what he heard: “Shhhhhhhhhwoooooowwwwwwww…….BOOOOOOOOSSHHHHH….CRASSSH!”

Paul Gascoigne’s funeral is expected to be held in the latter part of next week.

A Recovery crew is now trying to piece together what remains of the ex-English footballer and his cat. They said it was just a guessing game at the moment in deciphering which body parts belong to whom.

Mr. Gascoigne’s last will and testament requested he be buried along side long-time friend Raoul Moat.