Duffy’s Circus To Host Banking Inquiry


the dail

Despite the commencement of the banking inquiry some way off, the media storm continues apace as dissenting political voices queue up to share their doubts over its feasibility.

The banking inquiry has made steady headlines this last week as the public have been witness to endless twists and turns and ceaseless, selfless politicking. The latest controversy sees independent TD Stephen Donnelly suggests no politicians should be part of the inquiry panel.

This throws the location of Leinster House as the inquiry venue into question with no other purpose built location in existence in Ireland.

Duffy’s Circus has offered its biggest 3-ring tent with its submission for the tendering process listing ‘ample room’, ‘elephant shit, perfect substitute for mud slinging’, ‘plenty of seating from which the public and media alike can boo, hiss and insult’ and ‘several slimy reptiles available’. The public would also be able to avail of candy floss and popcorn.

The circus refused to offer up entertainment for inquiry intervals but it is believed several politicians would not require formal clown college training should they wish to participate.

The Taoiseach Enda Kenny was said to be left so troubled and fatigued by the banking inquiry’s troubles he has sought a safe haven in extremely volatile areas of Lebanon.

“Oh God, this so peaceful,” the tired-looking Taoiseach was overheard saying amidst several explosions.

Politicians have spent the last week openly moaning about every aspect of the troubled inquiry and are now sighting the public ‘distrust’ of the process as a reason to halt proceedings. A distrust the public has reserved for every Irish political action since the foundation of the State.

Michael Martin, who bizarrely had a Fianna Fáil underling standing behind him holding a makeshift halo above the leader’s head, poured scorn on how the process of inquiry member selection has evolved.

“We need to change the inquiry format, and we will be of help in any way we can as long as Fianna Fáil are not asked to answer any questions in relation to the bank guarantee, banking sector etc. That’s our teeny tiny proviso.”