It’s The DWWNWCRU (Daily WWN World Cup Round Up)



WWN brings you all the latest on the action from Brazil.

Switzerland scored two goals in their match against Ecuador with the final score standing at 2-1. Due to Switzerland’s neutral status the nation’s parliament had to put in place emergency legislation which allowed their team to attack.

Despite scoring a wonder-goal last night some fans are still questioning Lionel Messi’s inability to play as if he is against an 8-man San Marino team on FIFA 2014 easy mode. In contrast to the disappointment of some fans, other hardcore Messi fans reveled in their ability to somehow predict the 4-time winner of the Ballon D’Or could produce a moment of magic.

RTÉ have launched a once in a lifetime competition, which sees one lucky viewer win a trip to the World Cup final this year. To enter fans simply have to explain what Argentine panelist Ossie Ardiles is saying at any given time.

WWN cannot confirm reports that FIFA president Sepp Blatter demanded a Rio orphanage be demolished to make room for a lavish drinks reception held before the Argentina match last night.

Goal line technology was used in the France/Honduras match to decide if a number of French players had been violently kicked over the line by the Honduran players. The UFC have admitted they would be interested in a number of the Honduran players joining the mixed martial arts organisation.

There were sad scenes as goal line technology was used a second time in the France/Honduras match this time to determine if a Karim Benzema strike crossed the line. Sadly, BBC commentator Jonathan Pearce was unable to comprehend such space age technology. Reduced to a mumbling wreck simply chanting ‘Did it cross the line?’ over and over again, he was forcibly removed from the commentator’s chair and rushed to the nearest insane asylum.

Today sees current FIFA world player of the year Cristiano Ronaldo become Portugal’s sole representative at this year’s tournament. Germany are slight favourites in their 5pm clash against Ronaldo. It is believed the Germans will go with a 4-2-3-1 formation while Ronaldo will go with the tried and tested 1 formation.

Fans have stated much confusion in regards to the ‘magic’ of the World Cup which sees them inexplicably ‘up’ for and even excited about a match involving Iran and Nigeria.