Ireland Makes The Big Switch To Islam


FOLLOWING the publication of a study which has declared Ireland ‘the most Muslim country in the world’, many Irish people are making the big switch to Islam.

Ireland, according to this latest study from George Washington University, is the country most faithful to the values of the Koran, putting the already uncertain future of the Catholic Church in Ireland in further doubt.

The switch, which is being welcomed by many senior figures within Islam in Ireland, will see Irish Catholics make huge savings. The Catholic Church’s hidden fees and charges in relation to guilt and shame have given many food for thought.

It’s great really, it’s more convenient as there is a mosque close to me here and in fairness, it’s about time I read a new book,” shared Clonskeagh resident Mark Chambers, just one of thousands of people now looking to Islam to be their main religious faith provider.

Following religious deregulation in Ireland, other faiths have been slow to enter the marketplace, but now with this latest study Islam is set to make a big push for the Irish markets.

Some people are still smarting from the lengthy and corrupt process which saw the Catholic Church awarded the sole religious faith contract upon the signing of the constitution in 1937.

“Ah, it’s not much of a change for and kids, but I think it’s time for that switch,” shared Mary Cronin, a mother of five, “they have Ramadan, we have Lent. They go off to Mecca, I sent my aunty Joan to Lourdes last year for her gammy toe. We’ll hardly notice the difference, but the Catholic Church’s customer service is just appalling, ya know?”

However, some were weary of changing religious providers. “I haven’t read the small print in the contract, but I heard someone say that if you cancel your contract with Islam, they give you a Fatwa? Like how would that affect my credit rating with the banks?” inquired a puzzled Cillian Ruan.

Irish people who have already made the big switch listed among their reasons for changing was the fact they would now be the best at Islam rather than the worst at Catholicism.

The Catholic Church is already working hard to try and retain their numbers with new initiatives such as upgrading women to second class citizens, a 24-hour confession service and offering all masses in 3D.