Prince Philip Celebrates Birthday With ‘Blackface’ Party

The entire United Kingdom was heard to utter ‘shit-bugger-arse-tits’ upon learning that the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip is choosing to celebrate his 93rd birthday with a ‘simply darling’ evening’s entertainment involving performers in ‘blackface’.

While Prince Philip is believed to have acquiesced to requests that he duct tape his mouth shut while in conversation with foreign guests and those who are not one degree removed from the British monarchy, WWN insiders have learned the Duke was insistent that his party have ‘golliwogs’ and ‘little people’ dancing.

Royal aides have spent weeks trying to placate Prince Philip, pretending to take his party suggestions seriously, but they ultimately relented and allowed the party to go ahead after receiving a very detailed hand-drawn seating chart from the 93-year-old.

“God, you should have seen how excited he was,” explained Royal aide Jeff Delahunt, “and I think he’s learning to be more racially sensitive as he asked Bill, our Asian staff member, to leave before asking wholly inappropriate questions about him.”

The Prince is believed to have decided on who to invite by leafing through his old copies of National Geographic magazines.

The birthday celebrations are to take place behind close doors at the Queen’s Windsor Castle residence. The Royal family will hope tonight’s festivities do not see a repeat of Prince’s 75th birthday party where he told jokes on stage while dressed in the clothes of a Maori tribe leader.