“We’re Lucky To Have A Justice Minister Who Breaks The Law,” Claims Taoiseach



Ireland is lucky to have a Minister for Justice who can offer a unique insight into law and order having he himself broken the law, the Taoiseach Enda Kenny has claimed.

A ruling by the Data Protection Commissioner concludes that Minister for Justice Alan Shatter was in breach of the law when he disclosed information about Wexford TD Mick Wallace live on television last May.

Many in the media and wider public presumed this latest embarrassment would represent the final nail in the coffin of Alan Shatter’s career in cabinet. However, despite this the Taoiseach has come out in full support of his Minister and party colleague, even going as far as to state there is no one better suited to the position.

“People are simply looking at this the wrong way,” explained the Taoiseach, “a justice minister who knows how to break the law is invaluable, sure what use is a goody two shoes. Alan can get inside the mind of someone who chooses to break the law, whereas another individual wouldn’t think to use confidential information against another politician”.

The Taoiseach went on to explain that criminals would much prefer a competent and law-abiding minister.

“Now if you are a criminal, you are well and truly pooping yourself at the prospect of Alan as justice minister. He is a loose canon, can’t be trusted to carry out the tasks expected of him. Good Lord, they don’t know what he is going to do next. The man owns a leather jacket and wrote an erotic novel for Christ’s sake,” concluded an emboldened Taoiseach.

Asked what exactly Shatter would have to do in order to be fired the Taoiseach was reluctant to answer.

“Well, eh, I love those funny cat videos on Youtube so if Alan somehow broke the internet I would probably sack him,” the Taoiseach admitted.