Internet Explorer User Finally Getting Everything He Deserves


FOR YEARS friends and family of Colin Murphy told him that using Internet Explorer was like “riding a donkey in Aintree”, but the stubborn 54-year-old brushed off their warnings, and continued using the ancient browser regardless.

“I just love the way it’s so simple,” he was quoted as saying some time ago. “Not only do I have one search option, I have 12! I’m used to it now and I absolutely despise change.”

Family members told WWN that Mr. Murphy bought his Dell PC in 2002, but it took him five years to build up the courage and try it out.

“By that stage the whole family were using Google Chrome and we had the Internet explorer tab hidden from the desktop.” explained daughter Ger Murphy. “But once dad decided he was having a go, it all went downhill.”

Sources inside the family claim the problem began when the part-time fuel injection technician (petrol forecourt attendant) began logging onto the home computer. It is understood Mr. Murphy bought a series of computer beginner magazines in his local shop to help him through the process.

“I don’t know how he found it, but after a while there was four Internet Explorer icons on the desktop.” said son James. “Dad first insisted that everyone use it as ‘it told him to do so in his computer book’. He didn’t understand that there were better browsers out there. He was so stubborn. My God, if only we had to stop him sooner!”

As well as the numerous IE icons, the father of four also managed to download a stunning 24 anti-virus programs, 54 address bars, 4 translate extensions and 3,456 viruses.

“We just gave up on the PC in the end.” said his wife of 24 years, Janet. “It wasn’t until this mornings news of the worldwide Internet Explorer hack that he realised what a complete and absolute gobshite he was.”

Last night, software giant Microsoft warned millions of users worldwide to dump Internet Explorer or face a hacking attack due to a newly discovered security bug.

Mr. Murphy is believed to have been left in shock over the attack and has vowed not to log on to the Internet ever again.

“You just don’t think it will ever happen to you,” he said. “I should have listened to my family. Now I have to cancel all my credit cards and subscriptions. All my passwords are useless. How could I have been so careless?”

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