Spiteful Pedestrian To Walk Extra Slow In Path Of Already Frustrated Motorist


HENRY Carpenter approached a pedestrian crossing today in Dublin city centre with the greatest of haste, as he was already late for work, but took it down a step when realising there was a frustrated driver waiting for him to cross.

The spiteful father of none took his time checking both sides of the one way street, in a bid to delay the crossing even further, before venturing onto the white lines of the pedestrian crossing.

“I could feel your mans eyes in the car burning into me,” recalled the self-confessed bollocks. “I wasn’t happy my shoelaces were tied properly so I stopped half way for a second to stuff them into the side of my shoe. Your man must have been absolutely raging in the car, but I didn’t look. I never look.”

Mr. Carpenter told WWN that he religiously performs the same routine every day, in a bid to “get back at motorists for their ongoing impatience”.

“The pedestrian crossing is my time to shine,” explained the 24-year-old. “The trick is to not even acknowledge the cunts when crossing. It drives them nuts!”

Carpenter admitted that he loves the feeling of “ruining someones morning” and claimed the passive aggressive act to be a lesson for motorists.

“People need to slow more and appreciate life,” he added. “Just because they’re in a car doesn’t mean they’re not constrained to the same time space continuum. People commute with their legs too, and should be treated with the same respect as those in mechanically propelled vehicles.”

However, sources later confirmed Mr. Carpenter was fired that day for turning into work late again for the seventh time in two weeks.