Ant Colony Already Planning Annual Invasion Of Your Kitchen



AN ANT colony situated at the back of your house is planning its annual invasion of your kitchen, it has been revealed today.

The group of 30,000 ants have said they have already completed reconnaissance missions around your patio door, in order to find access points to your house.

After spending six months in hibernation, many of the ants are very hungry and are expected to launch a military style invasion in the next two weeks.

“We have some special ops patrolling the Kitchen area as we speak. They are travelling alone, so as not to attract attention.” said a General ant, who is overseeing main operations this year. “After last Summer’s successful hoarding of food, we expect some serious retaliation from the humans this time around.”

In 2013, the ant colony blitzed your kitchen for at least three whole months, scavenging anything and everything they could find for their Queen.

Sources inside the nest claim this year’s invasion will begin through a faulty rubber seal on your patio door, then onto the kitchen table and worktop areas.

“The humans tried all sorts of chemical warfare last year, but nothing worked.” said the source, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of being eaten by fellow ants for treason. “Your best bet is to fix that door and stop leaving bits of food everywhere.”

The ants are expected to launch the attack shortly after St. Patricks day on orders of their Queen, Antoinette III.