Garda Whistle Blower Not Invited Out With The Lads From Work This Weekend


IT WAS to be the annual team bonding exercise with the lads from work this weekend, but for Garda whistleblower Maurice McCabe, it will be two days of reflecting, wondering why his invite never arrived to his mailbox.

“We were all supposed to go paint-balling in Limerick and battle it out against another station,” said the visibly upset McCabe, who kept nervously checking his phone for possible messages. “Sorry, sometimes this phone doesn’t notify me of texts. I’m sure there must be a reasonable explanation for them not inviting me. Maybe its cancelled!?”

McCabe lodged fresh complaints this week over bullying claims within the force and has today taken a leave from work.

“Last year was mad craic altogether. Detective Casey kept doing his Arnie in Predator impersonation, ‘Dillon, you son of a bitch!” he recalled. “Oh, how we all laughed at his jests! That handshake never got old.”

Garda Commissioner Martin Callinan had last week organised the event for Garda McCabe’s station, in what he describes as a nationwide battle of wits between branches of the Gardai.

“This year I have a league thing going with all the different stations around the country,” the Commissioner explained. “It’s great to have something to look forward to every year. The lads love it now.”

When asked why Garda McCabe wasn’t invited he replied: “After some deep discussion with his colleagues, it was decided that Maurice would be best left do his own thing this weekend. I’m sure there’s a few films he could watch, like ‘Goodfellas’ or ‘The wolf of Wallstreet’.

“Maybe he could brush up on his nature.” He concluded. “There are some great books on rats out there at the moment.”