“On The Brightside, We Still Made A Tidy Profit!” States Coppers Spokesman

IT WAS an evening, hundreds of young Dublin students were destined not to forget, but for several Copper Face Jacks revellers, last night’s grand opening to the nightclubs new under 21’s “Messy Mondays” was to be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

Late last night Units of the Dublin City Fire Brigade, ambulance and gardaí were called to the scene where an estimated seven people were injured in a horrific crushing incident outside the popular club.

However, Coppers still managed to once again make a huge profit from the night, despite a €3.50 charge on all drinks, and the ‘tomfoolery’ outside.

“We were worried we’d have to maybe close the venue around midnight, but luckily the incident took place off the premises and we continued to cash in on the madness.” said a spokesman earlier today.

“It’s a shame: there was more of a ‘messy Monday’ outside the club,than inside!” he joked. “On the bright side, we still made a tidy profit!”

Last year the club recorded a pre-tax profit of almost 7 million euro, and owner Cathal Jackman expects to crush that figure again later this year.

“Thanks to mostly free publicity being constantly dished out by numerous media outlets across the country, we’re looking again at another great year for the club.” Mr. Jackman told WWN. “This young person stampedes thing is great publicity in the long run. Dying to get into the place they were.”

“You know what they say; ‘there’s no such thing as bad PR!’.”

Since last night’s incident, Copper Face Jacks has announced it will continue to run with ‘Messy Mondays’, and said a possible ‘Tragic Tuesdays’ may also be on the cards.

“We’re also looking at teen discos for the Summer time – cha ching!”” added. Jackman. “CHA CHING!!”