‘Mandatory German For Both Junior And Leaving Cert Exams’, Says Quinn


THE Minister for education and skills, Ruairi Quinn, has announced at a press conference today that the German language will become mandatory for both Junior and leaving certificates from next year.

Mr. Quinn unveiled the €2bn programme – part funded by the EU – at the Shelbourne hotel earlier this morning.

The ‘Bildung Macht Frei’ or ‘Education will make you free’ curriculum will be rolled out  to all first year students attending secondary schools in September 2013.

Included within the subject will be the history of the Nordic/Aryan Race on which an oral exam will given to both junior and senior levels.

This new approach comes as part of the new austerity measures laid down by the EU over the past few weeks.

Taoiseach Enda Kenny welcomed the compulsory language into the Irish education system saying: “This will no doubt strengthen trade between the two nations in years to come.

“It is now down to the next generation to pick up the reigns and whip the arse off the Celtic Tiger and get him moving again.

“We need to work together as one people, one empire, one leader.

“Or as Angela would say ‘Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer’.”

However, not everybody has welcomed the new mandatory language.

Irish teacher Cathil Ni Bhuachailli slammed the move yesterday as ‘ludicrious’ and vowed to appeal the decision with the department of education.

“Has our country lost the plot? Does no one see what is going on here?”

“We’re turning into the United States of Germany for Christ sake!

“I will not stand for it.” he added.

Ruairi Quinn said he expects German to become the first language of the EU by 2020 and that we just need to ‘go with the flow’

“We took Irish off the compulsary list for a reason. Sure no one uses it any more!

“It’s time to pay what we owe and learn the new monetary lingo.

Mr. Quinn then concluded: “Die Gasrechnung ist fällig.” (The gas bill is due)