lluminati Break Up Over Creative Differences


THE members of a society called the lluminati shocked conspiracy theorists and the Internet world yesterday by announcing that they are splitting up after 240 years at the top.

The group, one of the world’s most secret, was formed in Ingolstadt, upper Bavaria, in 1776 and went on to control the world by manipulating the minds of 7 billion very stupid people.

In a statement last night, hip hop artist and member of the organisation, Jay-Z, said: “Due to creative differences, myself and the other free-thinkers have just decided to go our own way.”

“We would just like to thank all our fans for supporting us over the last three hundred years.”

A source close to the group told WWN today that all plans for a ‘New world order’ have been put on hold, and now expects to see a new splinter group with an even more ‘mysterious type name’ to emerge.

Over the years the Illuminati have orchestrated numerous historical events including: the assassination of President John F. Kennedy’s, the demolition of the twin towers, the melting of the polar ice caps, and Kerry Katona winning I’m a celebrity get me out of here in 2004.

The society had a long association with Ireland, using the country on numerous occasions to hide its members and train priests in the art of ‘grooming’.

Conspiracy theorist James McKay believes the ‘break up’ is a hoax which was set up to throw people off the scent.: “Its obvious what they’re doing here man. We’re no fools.”

“The Illuminati are known for manipulating the media man. Free your mind. Don’t be a sheep.The problem with people these days is that they are afraid of the truth.”

“All you have to do is read the internet man. Its all there to see in black and white.  Just open your eyes man.” he added.