New CAPTCHYA System To Request DNA Sample

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ARE you human? Yes? Great! Then you are one of the billions of biological entities accessing the world wide web that are not robots, and thanks to a brand new clever Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart (CAPTCHYA) system, you will never be mistaken for one again.

For centuries CAPTCHYAs have safeguarded the human race accessing important internet web pages, with the ancient Egyptians using jumbled up lowercase and uppercase hieroglyphics to first detect non human entities attempting to access their important scrolls/tombs.

If it wasn’t for CAPTCHYAs, the world that we live in today would be a totally different place, probably run by robots, if indeed existing at all.

Most CAPTCHYA’s used today request that you partake in an online test, mainly picking out road signs or house numbers from a series of squared pictures, which are usually a cache of unprocessed photographs from crime scenes that would normally have to be labelled by trainee police, thus solving two jobs in one go: identifying you as a human, and vital photographic evidence for criminal court cases.

However, a brand new system has now been unveiled, and could eradicate evil robots once and for all, simply called ‘The DNA CAPTCHYA’.

Launching in October this year, internet users will soon be free from worry as they will be asked to provide a cheek swab laced in their own DNA when they wish to sign an important form or checkout cart in an online shop.

“It will only take a few days for the results to come back,” inventor of the new system Dr. David Woodstein explains, “not only that, but it is 100% foolproof, and we expect to see a massive decline in the number of robots pretending they are humans online, which could see robots extinct by 2019”.

All DNA swabs must be carried out by a fully trained practitioner and kits are expected to go on sale for as little as €99.

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