Queen & Prince Philip Celebrate 70th Wedding Anniversary ‘Peasant Hunting’

IN typical royal family fashion, the Queen of England and her husband Prince Philip took to one of their many country estates this afternoon to hunt some peasants as part of a celebration of their 70 years of marriage together.

“Pull,” yelled the Duke of Edinburgh as royal aides launched a 33-year-old peasant from a human catapult, sending him forty feet into the air before Phillip pummelled him with buckshot pellets.

The British monarch and her husband were married on 20th November 1947 when they were still Princess Elizabeth and Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten, at Westminster Abbey in the heart of London, at a time when the number of peasants were at epidemic proportions following World War II.

“They were a lot skinnier back in my day,” her majesty, Queen Elizabeth commented, “of course, malnutrition was rife back then; now all the peasants are fat from eating poor quality, cheap supermarket food, and sugary drinks,” she added, now prodding a freshly killed peasant with a stick, “this fat pudding will keep the corgis going for weeks”.

Along with shooting under privileged British citizens, the couple are expected to visit the Royal Mint later today where they will pose naked and embrace for a new 70th edition coin to celebrate their anniversary together.