Burton Blocks Exits As Jobstown 6 Attempt To Leave Court

ATTEMPTS to remove Joan Burton from the front doors of Dublin Circuit Criminal Court are entering their second hour, with the former Tainiste refusing to allow the acquitted members of the so-called Jobstown 6 to leave the courtroom.

It is believed that Burton is protesting against the ‘Not guilty’ verdict handed down to the six men, including Solidarity TD and total rockstar Paul Murphy, relating to the 2014 incident in which Ms. Burton and her advisor Karen O’Connell were detained against their will by a water protest rally spearheaded by Murphy in Jobstown.

The trial, dubbed by many to be the most important and worthwhile use of Garda resources and taxpayer money in the history of the State, ended today when the jury found the defendants not guilty after three hours of deliberations, prompting Burton to fly into a rage and barricade the exits of the court, helped by Ms. O’Connell.

With Burton and O’Connell now sitting linked-armed in front of the court, attempts are being made by Gardaí to reason with the women to allow TD Murphy to go on his way.

“I mean, there’s no way they’re guilty of anything, it seems,” said one baffled spectator.

“The Jobstown 6 could go out the back door, Burton isn’t blocking that… but they can’t go out this way, she is protesting there, as is her right as a citizen of Ireland, so… I suppose this is headed towards another massive, expensive trial down the way? Or everyone could just admit how silly this all is? This being Ireland, I’m sure we’ll sort this all out promptly and in a cost effective manner”.

Meanwhile, Paul Murphy is demanding to be freed at once, so he can attend a rally he has organised for himself entitled ‘hurrah for Paul Murphy, champion of the people’, where he will be carried through the streets by thousands of voters.