Local Family Slowly Realising The Seaside Fucking Sucks

WITH the current heatwave sending Irish families running for the beaches in their thousands, many are realising all too late that the seaside is actually one of the worst places on Earth to bring kids, regardless of the weather.

This revelation has arrived all too late for one Waterford family, who headed off to Tramore this morning with their two small children, a packed lunch, and dreams of an idyllic, relaxing day lounging on the warm sands and paddling in the cool water.

The McKennagh family, consisting of dad, Michael, mum, Jenny, and kids, Sam (4) and Rian (2) left Waterford city centre this morning at 11am to enjoy a ‘fun day on the beach’, which lasted almost 15 minutes before they realised that the beach is miserable, windy, packed, and almost completely devoid of anywhere to relax.

Their misery was compounded by their young children who reacted in horror to being covered firstly in suntan lotion and secondly in sand, leaving mum and dad fighting an un-winnable battle to keep their tikes clean and safe at the same time.

The day continues to get worse as the quartet attempted to eat sand-covered ham sandwiches while sitting in damp clothes, before tucking into sand-covered 99s on their way back to the car to fuck off home.

“The seaside fucking sucks,” fumed Michael, vowing never to return.

“Where did anyone get the notion that this is a ‘fun day out’? The kids are miserable, I’ve got more sand up my hole than you’d find in the Gobi, and the missus hasn’t stopped complaining since we got here. Fuck the beach, you can keep it”.

Despite all this, the McKennagh’s admitted that they’d probably be inclined to return to the seaside ‘when the weather’s nicer’.