Cabinet To Discuss Breathalyzer Scandal At Weekly Garda Scandal Meeting

MEMBERS of the government cabinet are to file into a meeting room in Leinster House in the next few minutes to attend the weekly Garda scandal meeting, in order to discuss the fallout from the recording of 1 million extra breathalyzer tests that were never carried out.

Not to be confused with the weekly HSE scandal meeting, the weekly Garda scandal meeting deals directly with mismanagement within the senior levels of the force with meetings lasting from anywhere between 2 minutes and 17 hours.

Careful not to raise the public’s expectations several ministers entering Leinster House this morning dismissed any notions of taking some of the blame for the disarray some sections of the force find themselves in after years of cuts and a failure to reinvest in basic infrastructure.

“They usually sit around with empty expressions, read out the latest incredibly worrying bit of news and shrug their shoulders,” explained one Leinster House staff member.

“Then they break for the week, and a lot of them, God love them, have to go have a lie down after all that shrugging. It really takes it out of them,” added the staff member.

In order to save time in the future, the Taoiseach has not ruled out amalgamating the garda, HSE, transport and redress scheme scandal meetings into one big meeting. However, medical experts have warned that such scandals would require a huge amount of shrugging and could lead to dislocated shoulders.