‘Why Do Nice Guys Always Finish Last?’ Wonders Local Prick

A WATERFORD man, bearing all the hallmarks of a certifiable prick has queried why nice guys just like him always finish last in life and love, WWN can reveal.

Taking to social media site, Facebook, 32-year-old Davey O’Driscoll invited his 432 online friends to weigh in on a discussion regarding how short changed he felt when it came to his encounters with the opposite sex.

“I just don’t get why we’re always the ones who lose out the most, are mistreated so badly, I’ve had it with women choosing complete bastards over me,” O’Driscoll explained in his lengthy status, alluding to a recent incident in which he hounded a female friend who had explained she had a boyfriend.

A helpful collection of Facebook friends chimed in to sympathise with O’Driscoll’s thesis that nice guys finish last while also pointing out how much of a prick he is.

“Didn’t you punch your niece once when she said you’d put on weight? She was 8 at the time if I remember correctly, Davey. Nothing nice about that,” explained one Facebook friend.

One person declining to engage in the online debate was O’Driscoll’s ex-girlfriend Elaine Buckley, who voiced her opinion to WWN instead.

“Nice guy? Nah, he’s a prick. Still owes me about two grand I lent him and he tried to cop off with my sister at her own fucking wedding. Delighted to hear he’s finishing last though,” Buckley explained.

Taking on board the relentless torrents of informative invective, O’Driscoll displayed a unique ability to absorb what people were telling him.

“Thanks for the feedback one and all, but I feel some of you are just a little intimidated by the fact you know your missus probably fancies me or something,” the prick concluded, “this is all proof nice guys like me just don’t stand a chance”.