Media Invoice Government For Time Dedicated To Criticising Sinn Féin

THE IRISH media is set for a huge windfall after sending off thousands of invoices to the coalition government for prominent media articles and videos in which they devoted their vast resources to slating Sinn Féin.

“We needed this, with revenue and readership continuing to dwindle it’s always good to get money in where we can,” explained a member of the Irish Independent’s accounts department, “and hey, we’re open to putting together some more mindless bile, just in case the government reads this”.

While the advertising value of barely veiled attempts at abandoning any journalistic principles in favour of attacking the Republican party is not known, it is thought to run into the millions of euro. It is believed the government will use emergency funding previously earmarked for non-essential services such as housing, to pay the bill.

Neglecting to focus in on the many flaws of all parties and their accompanying policies is believed to be just as valuable to Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil, who the media recently elected as the next coalition government.

Senior Sinn Féin figures reacted angrily to the coverage given by the media to an exchange on economic policy between deputy leader Mary Lou McDonald and a concerned citizen, who it transpired was a senior employee at ACC Bank during the period of the banking crisis.

“I just think it’s typical of the media to give spotlight to this guy and not acknowledge his background,” a Sinn Féin spokesperson explained, “like, our economic policy is bit mental, sure Gerry can’t even make heads nor tails of it, and we’ve no problem being called out on it, but we’d prefer it was by someone else, maybe someone who wasn’t earning as much money”.

Many floating voters have also expressed disappointment in the media.

“There’s just so much fact-driven stuff they could go with to obliterate Sinn Féin, or other parties, but instead they’ve gone with how Sinn Féin are the reason we sleep in on a work day or stub our toes against coffee tables, it’s bizarre,” explained concerned voter Colm Henry.

RTÉ will air their 4 hour ‘Sinn Féin – What A Load Of Bollocks’ election special tonight, while the Irish Independent’s commemorative 456 page ‘Sinn Féin Will Anally Violate Your Cat’ issue is out tomorrow.