WITH publicans still getting to grips with the government’s loosey-goosey re-opening regulations, normal punters are taking it upon themselves to ensure the safety of themselves and those around them, particularly when completely ossified. Although social distancing has become de rigueur when in shops and on public transport, it remains to be seen how effective it… Read more »
WATERFORD man William Henderson is this morning shaking off the effects of a hard night of substantial meals with the lads, during their tearful reunion with their local pub which does food now, apparently. Henderson, along with Derek Adams, Headsy, maybe Paul Malone was there too but nobody is sure; hit the Wheelrim Arms at half… Read more »
THERE wasn’t a dry eye or undamaged liver in the early houses this morning, as sentimental and emotional Irish men and women were reunited with their newly reopened pubs. Dropping to their knees onto the sticky carpets, embracing their favourite rickety bar stool in a hug and mindlessly splashing their urine all over their favourite… Read more »
THE REOPENING of the pubs, a day that will be etched into the national psyche for generations to come. Tears will be shed as drinkers are reunited with their favourite rickety stools and their drink of choice. There has never been a better time to think on what the humble Irish pub means to Irish… Read more »
PUB INDUSTRY leaders have pushed for further concessions in how they operate upon reopening and have proposed making up for lost revenue by easing the public back into pub life and allowing for week-long sessions and lock-ins. “We’ll already be feeding them their €9 breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lay a bit of straw on the… Read more »
LOCAL man and expert level masturbater Ciaran Callerty has awoken to a severe hangover and little recollection of the night before. However, piecing the night back together may be an easier task than first appeared as Callerty made a discovery in the moments after initially waking up. “I wasn’t in my bed, I was on… Read more »
THERE HAVE been calls from across Irish society for action after the latest research on the habits of Irish teenagers revealed that teenagers as young as 15 are staying sober for the entire duration of their weekends. While the news will come as a shock to many concerned parents, some have called it a ‘necessary… Read more »
IF you’re a youthful teenager setting off on a youthful odyssey of discovery in the field of alcohol, you may find you do most of your alcohol discoveries in fields. But not any more! Come with WWN Kidz, where we know a few great pubs in town that we’ll almost certainly get served in! 1)… Read more »
LOCAL man Garreth Whellan doesn’t need any help getting home, he’s just out for a few drinks, you don’t need to ring anyone, he’s grand, just leave him be and go on about your business, sure he’s only enjoying himself, WWN can report. Whellan, 26, will go home when he’s ready, would you ever fuck… Read more »
“IF you’re asking me why I’ve suddenly turned this simple, normal night out into Ocean’s 11, then I don’t have an answer for you,” said Peter Cannaghan, his eyes never moving from the pint glass in front of him, still containing at least half of his pint of Hop To It, a new craft lager… Read more »