Three Leaders Who Haven’t Run Enough Candidates For Outright Dáil Majority To Spend Debate Claiming Only Their Party Can Lead Country

TONIGHT’S RTÉ leaders debate represents the last chance for the public to listen to the main political party leaders shout over one another, each one trying to explain to voters that they should vote for them to fully implement their manifesto despite it being mathematically impossible for them to achieve a majority in the Dáil.

“Our housing plan is the only viable solution,” one leader will offer, omitting the fact to even get into government vast swathes of their pledges would have to be altered, reduced or mangled beyond all recognition.

“There’s only one party who has credibility when it comes to the public finances,” another leader will counter, failing to mention the taxation pledges within their manifesto cannot be implemented as outlined because they will need to compromise significantly to have any chance of getting into power, discarding many policy positions that got people to vote for them in the first place.

With no party fielding enough candidates to secure the 88 seats required for a majority, the make up of the government post-election is likely to be a palatable as a cocktail recipe drawn up by whatever demented independent TD that will be needed to help the next government secure a majority.

“I’ll be straight with the people at home, we’re the party to trust to achieve a fairer society,” another leader will proclaim, not straight enough with the people at home to admit it was largely pointless to campaign on all the promises contained within their manifesto.

“Only I have the answer,” all three leaders are expected shout until your ears bleed.