Tucker Carlson Found Dismembered In Russian Hotel In Apparent Suicide

RUSSIAN investigators have confirmed American ‘journalist’ Tucker Carlson has died by his own hands after being found dismembered in an apparent suicide last night.

The American conservative, who had been accused in the past of not being praiseworthy enough of Russia’s leader, was due to release an interview with Vladimir Putin this week, however it appears now he took a machete to himself, cutting off his limbs first and then decapitating himself in a hotel room bath.

“A note he left read, ‘I can no longer stand the lies my country is telling the world so I’m taking my own life tonight and before anyone dares say it was Russia – it wasn’t – President Putin is a good decent man and people need to know the truth about him, if anyone was to stage my suicide it would be either the CIA or MI5’,” a Russian investigator read the harrowing letter to WWN, proving without any doubt that Carlson took his own life.

Tucker Carlson was one of America’s top-rated cable TV hosts, but he abruptly left Fox News last year after a small misunderstanding about his lies costing his employers $787.5m in a settlement with Dominion Voting Systems. And today he left his fans, family members and friends behind in this tragic farewell.

Russian authorities defended their decision to bury Tucker at sea in a moving ceremony this morning, stating they didn’t want the US creating their own version of events with staged autopsies designed to create ridiculous conspiracy theories surrounding his death.