Relief For US As All Future Shootings Can Now Be Blamed On GTA VI Trailer


WELCOMING Rockstar’s latest teaser for the highly anticipated release of their Grand Theft Auto series GTA VI, Republican politicians, NRA members and a large majority of the US population are now expected to blame any future mass shootings on the 2-minute trailer.

With 627 mass shootings in the U.S. so far this year (please add another 2-3 by the time you finish this article), GTA VI is expected to be the go-to blame for America’s favourite pass-time, deading people with military tier assault rifles.

“School shooting, work shooting, active shooting, drive by shooting, shooting shooting; whatever it is, the new GTA VI trailer made them do it,” a joint statement from the NRA & Republican party read today.

Notorious for its violent and sexual content, the over 18 video game has in the past been a favourite for staunch pro-gun lobbyists hoping to pass the buck on their own greedy need to supply everyday citizens with high velocity weapons.

“This year 1,157 teens and 246 children were shot dead in the US and we can confirm 99% of them were all GTA VI fans waiting for the latest game to be announced,” one gun enthusiast told WWN, “they probably would have grown up to be psychopathic killers anyway, so good thing we have guns here otherwise they would have gunned everyone to death”.

Despite thousands of individual servers hosting millions of GTA players online at any one time, the NPC daily death toll in GTA VI is not expected to be anywhere near that of actual US citizens.