Eamon Ryan To Paraglide Home From COP28


CALLED out for being a bit of a thick for attempting to leave the COP28 climate conference for a confidence vote in the Dáil, Green Party leader Eamon Ryan has confirmed he’ll now paraglide home from the United Arab Emirates instead, WWN reports.

“No, no, the people are right, I’ve been using up far too much carbon this year and I need to set an example,” Mr. Ryan said earlier, searching for a sustainable paraglider online, adding, “it’s a fair trek, but if I catch the right wind current, I could be home in time for Easter”.

Agreeing to a pairing agreement with the Social Democrats, Mr Ryan can now miss placing a vote of confidence in Justice Minister Helen McEntee while an opposition TD will forfeit their vote to cancel out the absence, sparking more genius ideas from Ryan.

“Imagine if I could do this all the time and paraglide around the world fighting climate change instead of being tied down to the Dáil!” Ryan started day dreaming, “I’d paraglide from one country to another like Captain Planet – I’m going to definitely ask the Taoiseach if this could be seriously considered for next year”.

Mr. Ryan then began to search for cheap green superhero cloaks available on a leading fast fashion outlet’s website.