Waterford Airport In Talks With Ryanair To Pretend It’s Just Outside Dublin
NEGOTIATIONS are underway between Ryanair and Waterford airport to pretend it’s just outside Dublin, WWN has learned.
Originally the location of the first ever Ryanair flight to London in 1985, Waterford airport is set to receive €12,000,000 worth of funding to extend its runway to allow commercial flights, with officials now engaged in preliminary discussions with the budget airline in the hopes of securing flights, but in stereotypical Ryanair fashion.
“Waterford is basically South Dublin when you think about it,” a pitching document leaked to WWN read, “sure, ’tis only an hour down the road in a twin cam boi, tourist flying Ryanair won’t know any difference and will expect to be dropped off miles from their real destination anyway, so let’s get cracking, lads”.
If classed as a Dublin airport location, house prices in Waterford are expected to triple overnight with the economy soon entering a Dubai level of financial stability.
“This on top of the North Quays; Waterford will look like the bloody video game Cyberpunk 2077 when we’re done with it,” the document described the Deise’s future, “albeit without a functioning 24/7 cardiac care unit, but sure look, you can’t win everything, boi!”