Granddad Won’t Be Happy Until He Breaks Hip


“Hey, you, Shawn Michaels, would you get down off that fuckin’ ladder” pleaded an exasperated Ruth O’Rahallan, shouting up at her 87-year-old father who seems bound and determined to break one or both of his hips today.

Seamus O’Rahallan, not known for acting his age nor being a man who gives a bollocks all that often, will frequently act in the manner of a much younger man, and dismiss the notion that a man nearing 90 shouldn’t be up a wobbly ladder clipping trees in a crosswind.

“He’s the only one of his few remaining pals who hasn’t ‘had the hip’ done, and I think he feels like less of a man because of it” said Ruth, watching her dad play football with his grandkids and going in for actual sliding tackles here and there.

“We sat him down the other day and said; hey dad, see the way you just sit down and get up, no problems? Wouldn’t it be nice to still be able to do that next year because neither of your hips were broken? Also I know you don’t appear to care whether or not you have a stroke, but I’d rather not, for the love of God, don’t have my blood pressure up this high all the time”.

Mr. O’Rahallan was unavailable for comment as he was up a tree trying to poke a football out of a higher branch with the handle of a broom, causing a 150% increase in swearing from inside the house.