Nation Constantly Worried Tourists Visiting Cork May Get False Impression Of Ireland

TOURISM Ireland has been urged to down-sell Cork for a bit over fears tourists visiting the rebel county may get a false impression of Ireland as a whole and put them off ever returning.

“If we could maybe tone down the whole going to Cork thing for a while, or indeed erect signs around the county letting people know that we’re ‘sorry about this – it does get better’,” suggested one letter sent into the tourism board.

“What if they think we all talk like we’re singing all the time,” added another complaint, “and the self-importance thing; surely they’ll think we’re all arrogant muck savages – can we stop them entering the county somehow, maybe build a wall?”

The tourist board has asked the public to stop worrying about tourists visiting Cork, stating that it does its best to brief visitors on the vast array of dialects and traditions in each Irish region.

“We understand the concerns people may have over tourists visiting Cork and tainting the rest of the nation with the same brush – we really do – but unfortunately, Cork is technically part of Ireland and unless we call a referendum to get rid of the county, then our hands are tied,” an official statement read today. “All we can do is hope for the best that tourists don’t spend too long in Cork and have the cop to realise this isn’t who we are”.