Married Friends Wondering When Are You Two Getting Married, Buying House, Becoming Miserable Like Them


DESPERATE for someone to share their existence with, married couple Tim and Lucy Williams are wondering when are you two going to succumb to the traditional lifestyle and finally become miserable like they are.

“You guys must be together forever at this stage,” Lucy quizzed while out on her one designated night of the year, hoping deep down you’ve agreed on a wedding date so she can stop seeing all your fantastic social media posts of you having fun together.

“You’ve no mortgage, no kids; you guys are really missing out!” she added with a straight face.

Locked into a 35-year mortgage with their 3rd child under 5 on the way, the Williams’ insisted having children is the best feeling in the world, pointing out time is short, and you guys aren’t getting any younger.

“All those fancy sun holidays you two go on every three months are great and all, but it will never beat the feeling of owning your own home,” Tim pointed out, as news of a 11th mortgage interest rate hike rang from the paw-printed television, “what you need is the security of having to stay with the same partner in the same house for the next three decades, not this exciting willy-nilly day-to-day going out for meals and enjoying each other’s company without being bogged down with huge responsibilities kind of thing – it’s unhealthy at your age”.

Excusing the row you overheard in the kitchen earlier, Tim and Lucy playfully jested they want to see an engagement ring next time you two come round, before informing you there’s an affordable 3-bed semi down the road for just €550k that they’ll send a link to later.