Parents Under Impression Teacher Is Their Child’s On Call 24/7 Private Tutor

NEW TO THE primary school parenting game, parents to a 5-year-old Jack and Fiadh O’Reilly are struggling to come to terms with the fact that junior infants teacher Ashling Ward is not a dedicated one-on-one private tutor that is on 24 hour call.

“No, no, I appreciate that there are other kids of course, of course totally but I just quizzed Daithi on what he was learning in class and he drew a blank,” inquired Jack as he dropped his son off to class.

Embarrassed to ever hear someone describe them as ‘helicopter’ parents the O’Reillys were adamant that they ‘leave the teaching to the teacher’ lest they gain a reputation. So sincere were they in their belief that they would be happy for Ms Ward to dedicate all her time to teaching Daithi.

“We very much feel Daithi will be a ‘learned a fourth language by 12’ sort of child so I suppose, em, are you challenging him enough? Ditch one of the lost causes who have eyes that are too close together and give Daithi extra bit of time maybe, no?”

With years of such experiences under her belt Ms Ward has steeled herself for invites to babysit Daithi, attend his birthday party and just generally be willing to see him on weekends if he continues to skip the number 5 when counting to 10.

“And while I have you,” said Fiadh, who had to chase her son’s teacher down in the car park to get her attention.

“Daithi said he was very hungry at some point yesterday but couldn’t remember if this was before lunch or after, so I know it’s not the done thing but here’s my number – just hourly texts on his overall mood should do it. Totally not accusing you of starving him but a full belly is a hungry mind, right?” added Fiadh, with the cold, dead-behind-the-eyes intensity of a Bond villain.