BREAKING: Pub Has Only One Decent Shitter

PANIC has set in for local man Daniel Ryan today as WWN can exclusively reveal the pub he’s currently sitting in has only one decent shitter which is usually occupied by people not taking a dump.

The IBS sufferer known for his sudden treks to the nearest bog tried hard not to overthink the fact Brady’s Inn has now joined the majority of Irish pubs in having only one decent shitter for men. A shitter that he will be forced to wait in line on as complete bastards who piss all over the toilet seat because they’re too bladder shy to relieve themselves at the urinal and coke heads now hog the only available shit bucket within 500 meters.

“Bad idea having that Indian before heading out tonight,” Ryan told himself, before praying he wouldn’t be caught short again this week, “women have no idea how lucky they have it with all their private shite boxes, if it comes down to it I’ll just have to whip me jocks down, aim me hole at the urinal and hope for the best”.

As stipulated in the Irish constitution, all Irish bars must adhere to a one shitter rule for men’s toilets, a draconian law presumably invented to prevent fornication between men in the jacks.