Banks Warn Of New ‘We Replaced Staff With Chat Bots & Now Hackers Are Taking Advantage’ Scam


BANKS responsible for drastically cutting staffing numbers and turning branches into cold, faceless bank shelters dependent on poor automated teller machines and chat bots have warned customers that scammers are now taking advantage of this fact, WWN reports.

“Who’d have thought replacing puny humans with mediocre technology to look after the world’s most important commodity would result in said commodity becoming compromised by scam artists,” a computerised AI-run spokes banking machine stated today on a printed out receipt, “it seems you humans may have some use after all and could possibly be more adept at deciphering what’s real and not real than us machines”.

A scam alert issued by Irish bank BOI today warned about a new ‘live chat’ scam in which fraudsters are duping customers into allowing remote access to their computers and bank accounts, with this being the latest in a litany of technology-based banking scams costing the industry billions in security fees every year.

“The cost is worth it just to not deal with you people face to face,” a real spokesperson from the banking industry explained today, “we hate you and despise ever having to interact with customers so we’re going to continue down this path of a cashless regime that will force everyone to trust that our computer servers are a safe place to store all of their wealth on – what could possibly go wrong?”