Single Thumbs Up Emoji Sure Sign Missus Doesn’t Mind You Staying Out Tonight, Finds Naive Report


A NAIVE report published in one Waterford man’s head has found his missus has no issues with him just suddenly deciding to stay out on the piss with the lads tonight, WWN has learned.

The report found that the quick and abrupt emoji response carried no other hidden meaning and should be taken as it is; a big fat ‘yes, I’m totally fine with this spur of the moment decision that in no way affects me and there is no possibility the thumbs up was in fact a passive aggressive fuck you, Niall, we’ve only two free nights together in the entire week and here you are off out with the lads again and about to come home stinking of drink at 3am like a human tornado’.

“Obviously such a vague response could have several hidden meanings but as a man there is no other option but to take it at face value,” Niall Harrinton’s two sentence report found, “hopefully there will be no consequences on me for not delving further into the thumbs up emoji’s true meaning and double checking with my partner that yes, everything is fine”.

Sporadically checking for any additional information to the original reply throughout the evening, Harrington admitted he now has a weird overwhelming feeling of dread coming over him,  but couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Her saying nothing is a good thing, right lads?” Harrington conferred with fellow male researchers only to find a similar dead air response and even more heightened sense of worry, before rightly concluding, “fuck, I’m in terrible trouble, aren’t I?”