Choosing The Perfect Pickup Truck You’ll Never Properly Utilise

ARE you looking for the perfect 3.0 litre pickup truck to help you ferry the odd middle aisle power tool from Lidl or potted plant like some kind of rugged off-grid bourbon drinking lumberjack from Alaska? WWN motoring has you covered.

Size

Could a small hatchback car provide all your future transport needs? Sure, but owning a huge American style pickup truck looks class and everyone will be like, ‘Jaysis, the size of that yolk, he must be like building difficult stuff with his bare hands and probably has big man calluses and everything and probably eats raw meat too’. We suggest opting for the largest sized engine to carry your 20kg bag of coal because you’re not going to risk struggling with the bigger bag in case you look weak and puny.

Colour

Choosing a dark colour pickup is a great way of showing your masculine side, however, we believe purchasing a white pickup can also have some great benefits. Driving a white pickup really gives the impression that you’re comfortable with your sexuality, leaving people to speculate that you bought this monstrosity for practical reasons and not just for show. Adding a huge fuck-off bull bar and set of spotlights can up the masculinity a bit if you are slightly worried that driving a spotless white pickup truck that has never ventured on a road with a middle grass divide may get you a slagging from the lads.

Electric or Diesel? 

Really? Are you actually contemplating some kind of fully electric or hybrid version of a pickup truck? Get off our page, you Silk Cut 100 smoking, green tea drinking, Sunday cycling, falafel eating, Guardian reading snowflake.