Man Still Waiting On Mate Who Promised To Meet Him Beside EP Mainstage Toilets


THERE were sorrowful scenes today as cleanup crews tried their best to console one determined reveller as he insisted on waiting for a so-called friend who promised to meet him beside the mainstage toilets at Electric Picnic at 7pm last night, WWN reports.

Conor Macky rubbished calls to come to terms with the fact that no one is coming, insisting that his friend David is definitely on the way and probably just got lost or something, typical Dave stuff.

“No, Dave wouldn’t be like that now, I’ve known him since we were kids,” the sad and pathetic looking 28-year-old told staff as they ushered him out of the way as they cleaned up around him while he held on to two extremely warm beers, “I even got him his favourite beer, a bit flat, but Dave won’t care, Dave’s mad like that”.

As gardaí intervened, Macky revealed his phone battery died last night and urged everyone to ‘just be fucking patient’, pointing out that Dave probably sent a load of texts to him over the past 14 hours saying not to move and he’ll be with him at any moment now.

“No seriously, when we lose each other we always meet up at this same spot – it’s fine, get your fucking hands off me,” he explained, as several Gardaí and security personnel tried to pry the beers from his hand and get him to the ground, “Dave! Dave! They spilled your beer Dave, I was holding it for you and these Nazis spilled it,” Macky screamed, before being thrown into the back of a Paddy wagon for a little ‘me time’.