Lads Rocking In Thinking They Can Just Take Over The Pool Table Have Another Thing Coming, Finds Study


A COUPLE of right boyos rocking into one local pub have another thing coming if they think they can just rack up without playing the current standing champion of the table first, a study carried out by regulars has found.

Ordering two pints of stout before casually sticking a euro into the coin slot, ‘the lads’ were quickly stopped in their tracks by reigning winner Jimpie Furlong, who quickly pointed to his marker on the table.

“That’s a tiny piece of blue cue chalk,” the braver of the two lads interrupted, forcing Furlong’s back up even more.

“That’s how we do things around here; you play the winner if you want to take the table,” Jimpie barked, an air about him like he owned the pub despite being barred four times in the last year for being what onlookers diagnose as ‘being a headwrecking cunt’.

“Doubles – fiver a man,” Jimpie added, with fellow regulars nodding in agreement like some kind of elders deciding the fate of a villager’s adulterer wife, forcing the visitors into play.

Breaking the rack up with a shot that rattled the pool room, a tense game ensued as the whole pub watched on, distracted only once by a cheer generated from a smashed glass before experiencing a delay thanks to a brief ‘two shots on the black’ argument quickly ended by a grubby handwritten ‘pool rules’ poster stuck to the wall with chewing gum.

“Good game,” Furlong told the losing team. “Best of three?”

“Aw no man, thanks, good game though, but we just wanted to play between ourselves is all,” one of the lads responded, eager to depart.

“Killers – two euro a man? G’wan ta fuck!” Furlong tried negotiating.

“Nah, we’ll leave it man – no worries at all!” the other replied, about to put on his rain mack.

“I’ll tell ye what, have a game there yerselves and I’ll play the winner – fair?” Furlong finally agreed as he took the winnings, handing over the cue with the benevolence of a latter-day saint before ordering two more pints.