“Ah Jaysus No” Confirms Nations


A COLLECTIVE choral sigh was exhaled en masse by the nation as it learned of the untimely passing of Sinead O’Connor at 56 late yesterday evening.

“Ah Jaysus no,” confirmed the nation, immediately entering the denial and bargaining phase of the grieving process which is will last for at least a decade.

YouTube and Spotify servers buckled under the weight of overwhelming demand as people sought to hear O’Connor’s voice, while CD collections were raided, and record player needles dropped.

Impromptu lectures were delivered by parents to their children and listening to ‘Lion and The Cobra’ until their ears bled given as homework.

The outpouring of mourning was briefly parked in many homes to make room for righteous rants about what a cruel, cruel place Ireland could be and remains for women who speak their mind and call out those in power.

“A unique and trailblazing voice,” confirmed Official Ireland as its many institutions and figures began rewriting history to inaccurately reflect how it always had O’Connor back and was in sync with her when it came to her championing equality.

Elsewhere, barbers have been put on high alert and to expect a flood of requests for buzz cuts as people, unable to tell O’Connor what she meant to them try, in their own way.