Everything You Need To Know About The Women’s World Cup

THE BIGGEST football tournament of the year kicks off tomorrow in Australia and WWN has got all you need to know about the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup:

This is the 9th edition of the tournament and will be hosted by Australia and New Zealand.

It’s okay to just call it ‘The World Cup’ too.

Some of the tournament’s top players include Sam Kerr, Lucy Bronze, Patricia Guijarro, Pernille Harder and Keira Knightley character in Bend It Like Beckham.

Brazil’s Martha holds the record for most World Cup goals at 17, while local woman Aoife Carroll host the record for shoehorning into conversation, she played with Denise O’Sullivan at youth level the most times.

The tournament will come under criticism for not being ‘real football’ due to the 900% reduction in diving and play-acting on the pitch when compared to the men’s game.

The tournament’s mascot is a man explaining the offside rule to a woman.

England are the reigning European Champions so if you’re Irish mentally prepare yourself for the possibility they will win the World Cup.

Nigeria holds the record for most losses at 19 matches, marking at least one record Ireland can’t break in its debut appearance.

The majority of inspiring and clever marketing done by brands in the lead up to the tournament is done with entirely altruistic motivations and in no way a cynical way to increase revenues now that supporting female sports is popular.

By the year 2050, over 95% of the Irish population will claimed to have been at the opening game against Australia.

Captains will not be permitted to wear LGBTQ armbands with FIFA instead opting for neutral ‘It’s Nice to Be Nice’ armbands.

Saudi Arabia have confirmed they have no plans to spend obscene money on a women’s league.

USA are the record holders with 4 wins and oddly enough for a country that usually excels in sports only Americans play, there is something that stops some people from supporting a team made up of successful, forthright and outspoken women with several openly gay squad members.

Irish fans have vowed to hate whoever this tournament’s Toto Schillaci turns out to be with the intensity of a thousand suns.

There is a distinct possibility the Barbie marketing team will try to turn the whole tournament pink.

Previously accused of being tone deaf, not doing enough to promote the women’s game or support players abused by senior football federation officials, FIFA president Gianni Infantino has confirmed the tournament’s best player will receive the Golden Kitchen Apron Award.