All The Places The Government Can Stick Its TV Licence

TODAY BRINGS the news that licence fee payments are down by almost 6,000 people when compared to the same period last year representing a shortfall of €988,000 for national broadcast RTÉ.

With more people opting to show their displeasure at the mismanagement at RTÉ, WWN has compiled a list of places the government can stick the licence fee:

1) Where the sun doesn’t shine, more specifically the capital of the Farie Islands, Tórshavn, which get the least amount of sunshine on earth in a year at less than 900 hours of sunlight due to widespread cloud cover.

2) Aboard the next Oceangate vessel headed in the direction of the Titanic wreck.

3) The world’s deepest hole. Located in Russia, the Kola Superdeep Borehole is the deepest manmade hole on Earth and is over 40,230ft-deep (12.2km). It took 20 years to dig but will only take a second to shove the licence fee down there.

4) Wherever Shergar is buried. That TV licence reminder letter is never going to be found.

5) Indonesia. Specifically the South Tapanuli Regency, in the North Sumatra province of Sumatra in the district of Arse. With a population of 8,677, there’s plenty of shoving locations in Arse.

6) Donegal. If you’re looking for somewhere on this vast green earth the government would never set foot in or bother checking up on, then stick that letter demanding you pay the licence fee in Donegal.