Okay Joaquin, You’re A Brilliant Actor We Fucking Get It, Jesus

COLLECTIVELY pinching the bridge of their nose before just laying it out straight, the world’s movie critics and film fans have agreed that yes, Joaquin Phoenix is indeed one of the best actors on the planet right now, but Jesus, does he appear to know it.

“He executes every role with dedication and integrity time and time again, but boy he sure does love reeling in it,” one local movie critic said, admitting to being slightly begrudging over his flawless adaptations of both real life and fictitious characters, “his performances are a bit too perfect for me and as a movie critic I need to have at least one con to all his never ending pros if I’m to carry out my own job properly”.

Worshiped for his roles in Gladiator, Joker, You Were Never Really Here, Walk The Line, Beau Is Afraid, Her and now Ridley Scott’s adaptation of Napoleon Bonaparte, Phoenix has set himself up for an inevitable future downfall, with fellow actors and critics alike secretly wishing he puts in one really bad performance to prove that he is human like the rest of us.

“When he fucks up I will be sure to be the first person to chastise him,” one anonymous Hollywood actor told WWN, “he’s so humble and strange in chat show interviews that the talented prick actually makes me physically sick – for Christ’s sakes, Joaquin, just make one terrible movie and let other actors get one up and move on with their lives”.

Retorting to the comments, Phoenix has agreed to take on the next shit role he is offered and vowed to not even bother his hole researching the character or learning the lines.