Here’s What Virgin Media TV Could Do With The Licence Fee Money

THE recent upheaval and fallout from RTÉ’s concealed payments to Ryan Tubridy has many people questioning if the national broadcaster is still fit for purpose.

Is now the time to move away from a broadcasting model which sees RTE receive 100% of licence fee money? Virgin Media TV certainly thinks so and has stirred the pot by producing a plan showcasing how they can deliver superior public service broadcasting.

WWN has been given exclusive access to Virgin Media TV’s proposed offerings:

Fuck RTÉ Prime Time, it’s time to bring back Xposé – Glenda Gilson reporting on the frontline fashions of the Ukrainian war.

Send Martin King to space every week for an intergalatic weather forecast.

Ireland AM will have enough money to stop broadcasting directly from Tommy Bowe’s living room and kitchen.

You’ve heard of the Angelus? Well prepare for the Angelus with added fireworks and seizure inducing strobe light shows!

More Love Island, hell why not Love Archipelago, Love Ox Bow Lake, Love Continent, Love Asteroid. With that sweet licence fee money, dating shows can take place anywhere (provided ITV make them first and allow Virgin to purchase the Irish broadcasting rights).

Some say eighteen episodes a day of The Chase isn’t enough, which is why Virgin Media TV could launch a dedicated Virgin Media The Chase channel.

The Tubridy Show – a fly on the wall reality TV show which involves building a replica of RTÉ and populating it with actors in order to convince Ryan Tubridy he still has a job.

Something for the culchies – format to be decided, but how hard could it be, something about farming, country music or trad music or all three? Traddy Farm Music. Done.

The Pay Packet Games – Hunger Games style show subjecting RTÉ’s former highest earners to participating in humiliating challenges for the chance to host the 7 O’Clock Show.