“All that was left of them were shadows engraved on the scorched concrete – incredible power when you think about it,” US President Joe Biden told horrified G7 leaders at a summit in Hiroshima today, casually detailing the incredible horrors America brought to Japan 77 years ago.
“Burnt the tissues clean off their skeletons too, one hundred and forty thousand of them in an instant – puff, like that!” Biden casually went on, mimicking a bomb with his hand before turning his attention to the business of the day, imposing more sanctions on Russia and promoting his fancy new phrase ‘economic coercion’, a term to describe China’s increasing trade costs with Western nations as a result of increased political tensions.
“You know, if Russia and China listened like you Japs did back in the day, we wouldn’t be here right now threatening them,” the 80-year-old told Prime Minister Fumio Kishida, who was too shocked to correct the racial slur, “God, if it was only that easy now to stop wars by dropping a couple of Fat Mans on Moscow, or a Little Boy or two on Beijing, eh? – they’d be fawning over us like you lot and giving us territories for strategic missile silos”.
Despite flippantly referring to one of the worst human atrocities ever carried out by a nation in recent history, the American President is expected to forge a united front on Russia and China with his G7 allies at the site where his country wiped out tens of thousands of innocent people without remorse.
“I really love what you did with the place – I guess it was probably easy to work on a blank canvas,” Biden concluded, before being ushered off the podium by aides.