Beloved Actor We’re Not Naming Until You Click Has Died
GOT YOU! We knew you’d click. Nothing like a celebrity death to get you buckos in the door.
Absolutely, we could have mentioned who it was in the headline but then we wouldn’t get this vital pageview on our stats. It’s hard times for online publishers these days so we’re having to coax you in now with teasing headlines that spark interest. Sorry about that.
Sure, this dead celebrity may not be actually well known and just bassist in a lesser-known alternative band from the 1970s, but we have to eat too.
Hopefully all the dozen or so pops-ups you had to click to get here weren’t too annoying now you realise you’ve been duped into reading an article about someone you never even heard of. So far, you wasted at least 30 seconds, which is about our average dwell time so feel free to fuck back to your precious social network feed or wherever you found this link.
Still here? Feel free to look around. Click a banner ad and make us 2 cents. Refresh this page and give us another page view. Please, we’re fucking desperate.