Confusion As IRA Informer Dies Of Natural Causes

ALLEGED former IRA informer Freddie Scappaticci has passed away peacefully at the age of 77, with the ‘peacefully’ bit being the thing that most people in Northern Ireland can’t quite wrap their head around.

Although Scappaticci was never formally confirmed as being the deep-cover MI5 mole known only as ‘Stakeknife’, this uncertainty never really stopped any paramilitary group in Northern Ireland from removing informers from their midst, and indeed life in general.

Scappaticci’s legacy now remains uncertain, as he was either an undercover agent embroiled in a campaign against the IRA, or an actual IRA member involved for decades in the notorious ‘nutting squad’ torture and interrogation wing of the group. Regardless, those we spoke to admitted surprise that he reached pension age.

“There was lads lifted off the streets for a lot less than he was accused of,” mused one Belfast local we spoke to.

“It’s not often you hear the words ‘alleged IRA informer’ and ‘died of natural causes’ in the same sentence.  But y’know… may he rest in peace? I suppose? Who knows, really”.

Mr. Scappaticci will be laid to rest in a cemetery with a marked gravestone, which is a lot more than some alleged IRA informers can say.