“I’m Heading Out To Meet The Girls” Says Wife, Referring To Anywhere Between 2 And 75 Women


THANKS to the combination of having an extensive network of friends and local man Eddie Freeley not being particularly good at listening, it remains unclear who his wife Tina Freeley is socialising with this evening, WWN can exclusively reveal.

“She said ‘the girls’, but there’s various subdivisions of girls and those subdivisions have their various factions, so fucked if I know” admitted Freeley who, if forced to guess, would say Tina was out with the work girls.

“There are the GIRLS girls, they’d be the best friends, there’s about 7 of them but sometimes they don’t meet up altogether because Sarah is always stirring shit so sometimes ‘the girls’ means them lot minus Sarah. Honestly, she full on will get mad when I say, ‘I didn’t know you were out with them’,” explained Freeley, noting those girls that make up ‘the girls’ also form part of ‘the girls’ who are ‘the old school girls’.

‘The girls’ as Tina puts it further lost its meaning as a phrase and became more malleable with the edition of the Muckross Park mothers who have gotten know each other for school pickups and functions in recent years, that’s not to mention the tennis club girls.

“Then there’s the college crew, the erasmus girls, the masters girls, although forgive me – they call themselves ‘the masters bitches’. Anyway, she’s out with the girls, as I said,” offered Freeley.

The venue, nature of the socialising and expected time of arrival back home, also remain a mystery to Freeley despite several texts Tina sent to her husband with the details, and the post-it note placed on his forehead.