Maybe If You Filled In That Diary You Bought At Start Of 2016 Your Life Wouldn’t Be Such A Mess
RESEARCH hot off the press has indicated that your December 2015 purchase of a ‘2016 Diary’ could have been the very thing which got your life in order and gave you purpose had you not immediately let it gather dust on a shelf.
“Filling in a diary with stuff like ‘hair cut on the 23rd’, ‘coffee with Jess’, that’s undeniable scientific evidence this person has got their shit together, but you missed your chance at the end of 2015 you idiot,” researchers indicated.
Strongly suggesting that the reason you’re always tired, haven’t got that promotion in work and suffered a messy break up two years ago can all be traced to the glitter and unicorn covered diary, researchers at the Institute of Getting Your Shit Together were unequivocal in their convictions.
“This is why you never learned Italian like you said you would, the diary – that’s what tied this all together. It’s the foundations upon which you could have built ‘joining the gym’, ‘replying to texts in a timely manner’, ‘standing up for yourself in work’ and so much more,” confirmed data scientist and lead researcher on the project Brian Canton.
In a damning rebuke of your lack of self-starting drive, researchers indicated that the fancy biro and pack of mini-highlighters further prove all the elements for getting your life together were in place at this time but you messed up, big time.
“Just think of all the embarrassing moments and failures from the last 6 years or so – they could have been avoided if you just opened that diary/organiser/dream journal combo but no the adrenaline rush for just buying the diary was enough for you, you naive fool,” concluded the lead researcher.