Middle Class Couple Worried They Might Have To Protest Like Working Class Scum

A DUBLIN couple struggling to maintain their rent, pay bills and get on the housing ladder despite being on a reasonably good income fear they may yet have to protest like working class scum they constantly see being put down on the news.

“Ever since the lunatics high-jacked the water meter protests a few years ago taking to the street, voicing your concerns just doesn’t have that same je ne sais quoi anymore,” said Jack Freeman, explaining his predicament. “We don’t want to be lumped in with those feral clowns out every weekday stopping traffic because they’ve been duped into hating refugees, egged on by racist lads non-stop tweeting from home. We shop in BTs for Christ sake, my parents have an Aga in their kitchen!”.

Echoing her partner’s sentiments, Laura Ryan called for some distinction to be made between looney protests, fulled by misinformation the government seems only to happy to allow fester, and legitimate protests like ones they didn’t attend during the abortion referendum but did like on social media.

“Protests give me the ick, I used to think they were beneath me but if Leo (big fan, don’t get the hate) and the guys continue gaslighting us on the housing crisis, I might have to protest what’s going on in this country but only as long as no one I know sees me on the telly – I don’t want to look like an absolute raving mad cunt, protesting a factory shutting or something,” the accountant added, her head now firmly in her hands with bills scattered across the kitchen table.