Trump Requests Clarity On Which Crime He’s Being Charged For This Time


FORMER president Donald Trump has hired a special PR team to help him through his arraignment this week, specifically to keep him on track on which exact criminal offence he’s being hauled in over.

“We’re making sure that Mr. Trump doesn’t respond to questions about his hush-money payments to Stormy Daniels in a manner that reveals hush money payments to anyone else,” said a public relations specialist, who has have 4 hours sleep in the last five days as a result of Trump facing as many as 34 separate felony charges.

“We keep saying, answer what you’re asked, don’t go on a crusade about anything, use the words ‘no’, or ‘I don’t remember’ all the time, and if at all possible, don’t blurt out how you sold state secrets to Russia or something when asked what time it is”.

As the state of New York braces itself for disruption surrounding the processing of Trump, WWN have learned that the former president has also been advised:

– The camera taking his mugshot is for images only, and he should not attempt to do a speech into it.

– He will not need to dip his fingers into ink to get a fingerprint, the orange fake tan will suffice.

– This isn’t a prelude to an investigation, or a trial run, or a meeting about a meeting; this is an actual criminal investigation, he is literally being investigated for a crime.

– No, he cannot send Don Jr in his place.

Meanwhile, Melania Trump has yet to comment on the matter, as she is busy wishing to the evening star to finally be set free from her nightmare.